Farewell, O Shoe Polishing Stand

The "famous" shoe-polishing stand on Buckle Street will soon be no more, as town officials have reached by unanimous vote a decision to sell it for firewood at six dollars a plank. Uncle Hobert, who ruined himself with drink, abandoned his station at the shoe-polishing stand some ten years ago and has not been seen since.

Rats in the Streets

We're very sorry, Waffle Town reader, but there are rats in the streets. God forgive us.

Youths, You May Not Climb the Water Tower

Following last night's broken-femur foofaraw, Sheriff Ramage would like to remind the aimless youths of Waffle Town that it is forbidden to climb the water tower, and that any and all persons—indeed any and all of persons of any age—who are caught climbing the water tower will be subject to a public shaming at Sourpuss Junction.

Corn... On the Go!

Farmer Terry is "pleased and proud" to announce a new healthful treat on offer at his farmstand this coming spring, and that it is called "corn-upon-stick" and will be served with butter on request. Salt, too, is offered.