28 March 2015

Red Mailboxes to Go

After years of campaigning by concerned citizens, red mailboxes will soon be illegal in Waffle Town. Homeowners have until June 1st to remove or repaint their red mailboxes or else face a fine and possible jail time. Mail will still be delivered to homes with red mailboxes until that date, but only reluctantly.

21 March 2015

Ill Tidings

News from out of town: the maplewheat harvest has failed again. Is this the work of mischievous spirits, some wonder. None could say but the Oracle, and she is long passed.

19 March 2015

Trouble in Cribbage Road

There is a deer standing in the middle of Cribbage Road, blocking traffic and refusing to move when prompted. It does not seem to know where it wants to go or what it wants to do with itself. Drastic action may soon need to be taken.

If you have any ideas on how to help, or believe you can somehow communicate with this deer, please contact animal control within the next ten minutes. 

16 March 2015

Corn

Today, corn is on sale. It's at the market, and you can find it in aisle two. Please stop sending e-mail asking about the availability of corn.

11 March 2015

The Conscience of a Nation

It was 75 years ago today that state senator (2nd district) Merle Pepper gave a celebrated speech at town hall in which he said that Waffle Town had "the potential to become the conscience of a nation." Many saw this as pandering to voters; others called it a comical overstatement; a few, though, took the late senator at his word, and dreamed of future greatness for their tiny town. It is the official position of the Waffle Town News staff that these latter few were correct.

Do you agree that Waffle Town has fulfilled its promise? Share your thoughts by sending us an e-mail at wafnewsstaff.waffletown@staff.waffletown.us.gov

Please do not share your thoughts in the comment section. The comment section is not for your opinions.