Summon the boy.

Let him know that we must talk about what was left in the forge.

Zoo's Favorite Gorilla Contemplates Escape

Friendly Roy, a favorite at the local zoo, is understood to be contemplating escape—according to his keepers, at least. Should we not indulge him? After all, what is a gorilla but an unusual man with hidden priorities?

A Message from the Mayor's Office, to Our Reporters

Not too much news for the little piggies!

Not too much news, now!

We wouldn't want to spoil them!

Vast Treasures!

A hole here, a hole there; holes are appearing all over Waffle Town as treasure hunters, armed with metal detectors and a taste for adventure, set to work searching for the innumerable golden nuggets said to be buried throughout the town by crazed miners during our brief turn-of-the-century precious-metals boom. Whether these myths are based in reality—they aren't—is irrelevant, as these treasure hunters, in their folly, are only helping Waffle Town meet this year's "hole quota".

Close Your Windows

The sun has barely set on Waffle Town, but the sheriff's department has already received several noise complaints.

Says Sheriff Ramage, "I don't care if it's a pleasant evening. I don't care if you've got something to celebrate. If you're going to make a ruckus, keep it indoors and close your dang windows."