Alert! Upcoming Poll!

Reader, how familiar are you with personal hygiene? 

Local health officials, in collaboration with "John Howard Shanks" of Tinto Corbago fame, are planning to launch a town-wide hygiene awareness campaign. How much soap do you use? Per year? Per month? Per day? Do you know what soap is? Where do you buy your soap? What's your favorite soap? Is it really your favorite soap? Look forward to answering these questions (mandatory) and more in the coming weeks.

News of Peculiar Interest

Neighboring Glum Gulch will soon begin offering suicide encouragement to persons who exhibit signs of aberrant thinking. For further information, please contact the town's Goodmaster General.