Norma Cloonts, inventor of spray-on eggs, will unveil her latest work at Town Hall tonight, as part of the ongoing "Waffle Town: Our Future and Yours" series of lectures on personal and societal betterment. Dubbed the "Alfingbet", Ms. Cloonts' new "information transmission system" replaces our alphabet's least popular letters with helical symbols pleasing to the eye, and introduces a series of "quick and sharp vocalizations" as shorthand for over a hundred commonly-used phrases.
Ms. Cloonts' system has already been adopted wholesale by the town council of Moosehead Hollow; will Waffle Town, she recently asked, be "forward-thinking" enough to follow?
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