Clerical Error at Waffle Center

70+ days information lost. Mechanical failure ruled out completely. Mayor and Chief Director authorize sigma-class recovery protocol "Zero Canyon", advise cautious optimism.

Night Falls

Where will you be?

Not in Waffle Town, not in Waffle Town.

Truck Overturns...Accidents Happen

The Milk Truck overturned on Highway outside Waffle Town (far outside Waffle Town - Waffle Town is PEACEFUL). An accident was caused requiring five cars. No milk was spilled.

In the Square today:

- Young Boris sold "lemon ade"
- Young Lawrence sold brownies and cakes
- Officer O'Fernsby stopped traffic for the crossing animals
- Helper dog "Fido" helped his master "Edward Loomis" across the street

The Nightmares of the Children of Waffle Town

The good people of Waffle Town want only to remove the nightmares from the minds of their children. Doctors have yet to develop a method. How tormented they are, the children by their nightmares, the parents by their guilt, and the doctors by their feebleness of mind in the face of that which refuses to be known.

Clams Upon the Hill

How did they get there? Did they land there during the Great Flood?

The Hills Are Alive

...with the sounds of crickets chirping and birds chirping every night and morning in the countryside! Ah, summer!

Signs Are Posted!

Mr. Hemmings has posted signs for his upcoming "bake-off" at the church. He wants to let everyone know about the "bake-off" and to come and enjoy it. Mr. Hemmings was once owner of Frizzle D.'s department store in downtown Waffle Town, and he was renowned for his kindly prices. Be good to Mr. Hemmings!

Fun "Beach" Party

Fun party at Mortimer Beach Store...tonight! Beach merchandise will be 1/3 off, and come dressed as beachgoer for x-tra savings!

Mortimer Beach Store located in savings district. Bring entire family for entire family fun.

Surveyor Sees Waffle Town

Surveyor Tom Jonnings has done his thing in Waffle Town, and declares it "to standards."

Isn't it amazing when the professional men and women are pleased by the geographical exactness of our fine town? Does it not make you happy, does it not help the sun to rise?

Ancient TEXT?!?!?

I am trying to make sense of this ancient text. Maybe you can help me.

What does "tree" mean?

Announce

All citizens of Waffle Town - be happy - be merry - party in the town square

El-Chuco Chuco Powerbat

It is said he dwells in the far caverns. Is it so? Would you dare to find out?
Wise words may await you. Riches, as well. But what dangers? What horrors?

I shudder at the thought!

Lettuce Heads

From the town of Horgenbath, they come to buy lettuce heads. Fresh and inviting, the lettuce heads sit on Ma Maple's counter, waiting for the hungry consumer and consumerette to pick them up and see that they are worth buying. How they wait. How they wish to be bought and eaten. We would all like to know how it feels to be a lettuce head.

Does Anyone Like the New Lamppost

Mayor says nobody likes the new lamppost

- not doctor
- not lawyer
- not baker
- not greengrocer
- not mailman
- not construction worker
- not notary public
- not surgeon
- not bookseller
- not scientist

Nobody!

We're gonna take it down, he says!

Nighttime, a Great time, for Fun Time

Fun time at nighttime, good time for games. Who agrees? Yes, all agree.
Time with family, time to break out fun board game and enjoy yourself...

As World Turns, So Waffle Town Turns

The sun is shining on Waffle Town. The people are happy in Waffle Town. Won't you join us?

Hurdleberry Family Announces

The Hurdleberry family wants the citizens of Waffle Town to know...that they love Waffle Town!!!!

It is a great place to be, I agree. Have fun!

Route of Sanchez Lane

A good place to be on the road. Use your car!

Elderly Crossing

When the elderly cross a road...help them!!!! GO!!!!!!

SO MUCH NEWS

SO MUCH TIME

Pluger Street Development

Pluger Street being developed - news item - important to respect detour set up for Pluger Street. Pluger Street will have:

5 houses
1 ice cream shop
1 mailbox

Apply to live on Pluger Street at Waffle Town Union.

A Contraption...

Found in the basement of House 55-D, a contraption for the ages! What does it do? What does it not do? Can I learn about it? Thank you for your interest.

Sailing into the Bay, Alone

The dream of many men.

Into Bakery of Waffle Town

Here at the bakery we have the ovens to make the bread, and the dough to make the cookies. We have the chocolates and the vanillas, and the sweeties and the candies, and we sell them to the children. We make the cakes and the pies, we make the bread for the sandwiches and the bread for the buttering, and we sell them to people of all ages. Would you like to work at the bakery? It's possible...

Massivo Loco Destructo Destroyo

Did anyone see the show? Of the above title? In Waffle Town???

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy a Life of Leisure

Your life - is it incredible?
Do you want the life of another? Of course not!
Because you have Waffle Town to live in, it is so fulfilling.

- good streets
- good people
- good sales
- good bens
- good activities
- good community

Yes, all these things define Waffle Town quite well, you agree and are pleased.
Triumph for Waffle Town!

From the Land of Fun - Good Messages

From "Fun Camp" we receive two good messages of hope for Waffle Town and the children of Waffle Town. 1: Have fun, Waffle Town! and 2: Waffle Town is central to His plan! All right! Thanks so much the Fun Camp and their nice people, who are good to all, haha.

Mr. Mitzwelder's Amazing Machine

Mr. Mitzwelder reports from his laboratory - he is continuing work on his amazing machine. What will the machine do? Are you excited to know? Mr. Mitzwelder claims it will be important to every home, that it will be necessary to ever home in time. Yes, we are very intrigued by these claims. Yes, we hope to interview Mr. Mitzwelder soon.

Some Say 'Waffle Town is Good'

They are right!!!

To the Water Tower

Water is pumped lovingly out of the water tower. It winds up in your sink, your bathtub...don't you understand??? Give your appreciation to the water tower.

Sharon Lovis Finds Letter Under Lamp

While reading the newspaper this morning, local Sharon Lovis let her eyes wander. Doing so, they fell upon an unopened letter resting motionlessly beneath her living-room lamp. Sharon Lovis could not and can not remember receiving this letter, and she currently refuses to open letter, or to tell Waffle Town news chief what letter contains. This mystery will haunt Waffle Town for the rest of our days.

On Kruger-Vann Avenue....

A "Bake" and a "Yard" sale will happen today in the after-noon. Do you want to buy bake, and to buy used items from the Yard family? These are the places for you.

Water Men

Come to install the water today at 5 o'clock

News from the "Post Office"

Mr. Reynolds-Jackson at the mail building says:

- lots of new mail
- so much old mail
- stamps are full price for the season
- envelopes are ready-made and can be yours today
- no more news

Waffle Town appreciates Mr. Reynolds-Jackson for keeping the people informed.

My Father

Let me tell you about my father. My father was a wise man. My father was a strong man. My father was a man who scaled many mountains and swam many oceans. Does this satisfy your need, hearing about my father like this? Good.

Fun at Great Heights

Crowds gathered in shock, horror, and amusement this morning as local man Pote Thampson tried to climb Waffle Tower. When later interviewed, he said, "I thought it would be fun." Well, Pote, we hope you really did have fun, because you gave us quite a scare back there.

Pike Sale

Don't go to the pike sale

It's a bad deal
We're trying to stop the pike sale. Don't go to the pike sale, please.

A Bad Time in the Square?

Little Johnny had a bad time in the square. Scientists did not think this was possible. Why did he have a bad time? Where did it all go wrong? What happen? What happen? What happen to Waflo Twon?

When We Find The Bugs

We burn the bugs.

The Prime Ministers of Waffle Town

Reggie "Dobbins" Detweiler is minister of Waffle Town Academy
Reggie "Harper" Lonsdale is minister of Waffle Union Associates

This cannot be a coincidence.

At the Docks

At the docks today, Young Horbus Danielson caught a very big fish. He could not identify the fish, and thus had to release it, as per Waffle Town fishing code. We will never know what type of fish it was.

Daily Race Numbers

We don't have them. Go look for them.

Slow-Down in Waffle Town?

Don't frown, Mr. Brown.

Very Much Underground in Waffle Town

Moles and gophers aren't the only underground residents of Waffle Town, friends. According to scientist "A. Barquentine" our little hamlet is home to a growing population of Salmus siridius - the glowing harp beetle. This interesting creature digs tunnels under the earth, and lays its eggs, and raises its family without ever seeing the surface! Incredible! Its name stems from the bioluminescent ridges that run across its back. Some say it is driven by the spirit-aggregate of thousands of miners who lost their lives in the 1898 Caine explosion. Does this rumbling insect hivemind have sinister plans for Waffle Town? Scientist "A. Barquentine" chose not to comment on the matter.

We Get Crazy

But only at night, the crazy time

An Amazing Find...

Animal bones...in the ground...here in Waffle Town! Do you wonder what animal they belonged to? Do you wonder how this animal died? Do you wonder how old this animal was? Wow, the question that we have to ask!!!!

Woobo Town

Don't believe the lies about Woobo Town. There is no Woobo Town.

The Secret of Manny Flanks

Manny Flanks has a secret...do you know what it is?

Go to Town Square
Ask for Manny Flanks
Ask what his "secret" is
He won't tell you!

Secret coming soon!

Voyage to Ends of Earth

Find no town like Waffle Town

We Now Pause for Station Identification

Very Small Sale

There is a sale at the Pet Store

It's very small...but it still has big savings!

It is a very small sale on very small mice!!!!! Buy them today, take a mouse home!!!!

$5

Pond & Plond

Pond & Plond was name of Game Show...in Waffle Town 1995...very popular...yes...

No more Pond & Plond though

Never again

Intense Longing in Waffle Town

Open up your Waffle Town newspaper...look at the "personal" section. What pain! What misery!

Open your hearts, Waffle Town!

Everything Old is New Again

Farmer Patro replaced his soil on Old Work Farm
Bob Matherman sold his automobile and has purchased a strong bike
The trees are blooming in Waffle Town!

Mr. Helm Quotes

Mr. Helm's famous quotes:

"Waffle Town is a fun town."

"When I was a young lad, we enjoyed playing tag."

"Great men across the world are united in friendship."

"This fountain is quite lovely in my yard."

Thanks to Mr. Helm for speaking with us.

Smooth Sailing Ahead!

Today at Waffle Town Lake there was a SAILING REGATTA involving eighteen participants! For those of you who were not there, you missed great fun!!!! For those of you who were there, didn't you have fun?!?!?!!?

It was a clear day, the sun shining brightly, the birds chirping merrily, and the waters cool and crisp for a nice day of regatta sailery. Fun boats were seen, and there was a race! Peter 'Pete' Flemings, famous Waffle Town sailing enthusiast, was not available, but many brave contenders entered the race, some to win, others to lose, all to have a fun and good time sailing.

Gold Medal - Van Morton & "Sea Goose"
Silver Medal - Ievgeni Pultz & "Queen Mary II"
Bronze Medal - Marjorie Song-Hulimn & "Young Jarvis"

Congratulations from Waffle Town to these fine winners and their wonderful boats!

Do You Like To Make Dollars?

There is an easy way to make dollars...in Waffle Town!

1. Go to Waffle Town Construction Agency
2. Talk to hire-man
3. Get job, make money!!!! Buy more pies!!!!!

Connecting with Friends...

Friendship is a strong bond between two individuals. It is important to connect with friends...because friends are good! Here in Waffle Town were are all about friends and friendship. We are all friends. We like one another and are liked. The entire Circle is made up of those who enjoy each other's company.

When I think about friendship...and good people...happiness is everywhere!!!!

Fence removal in Burough Acres

Fences in Burough Acres are being removed and sent to Waffle Town tomorrow as per Mayor's wish for more fence coverage in Waffle Town...more updates as they come in...Mayor stresses always importance of having fences for proper delineation and control, important tenets of famous "Blue Keel" Protocol 1997 V201...This information brought to you by Hondo Roaster on Fangle Blvd.

Here They Are

Here are the fun Waffle Town items you asked about

- Waffle Town is good
- South Street Playground still contains small elf
- "Pie Land" restaurant to open in May; will compete with N.O.R.K. Pies for pie dominance in Waffle Town

That's good for now, man???

Good Blokes

They visit Waffle Town
They went to Mom And Pop Store and buy "Soda Bread" for "Feast"
Reached for comment, they say they like Waffle Town

The Picket Fences of Waffle Town

In the sleepy American hamlet of Waffle Town, we take things slow. We like to "mosey" down to the general store for our groceries, and we like to say hello to the milkman each morning. This is what it is like to live in Waffle Town, the town of dreams.

Pappy Flanagan Speaks

Pappy Flanagan spoke to Waffle Town reporter today....he had this to say:

"When I was a young [sic] man, my friends and I would go down to the forest...and we'd pick berries!!! Can you believe it????"

Wow, Pappy, that is exciting! Your news is our news now, thanks.

Here is your fun goat

Enjoy your fun goat in Waffle Town

heh heh

N.O.R.K. Pies Opens in Town!!

36 Mapleberry Drive
Next to the old museum!
N.O.R.K. Pies is open now!!!

All the pies you can need....

• apple pies
• lemon pies
• pumpkin pies
• lime pies
• grapefruit pies
• honey pies
• delicious pies!!!!!!!!!

Visit TODAY for pies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waffle Town Song

Oh Waffle Town
Oh Waffle Town
How lovely are thy branches
Oh Waffle Town
Oh Waffle Town
The circle is such a fun place
Oh Waffle Town
Oh Waffle Town
We are all friends and it's great
Oh Waffle Town
Oh Waffle Town
Waffle Town is the best town!