Sharon Lovis Finds Letter Under Lamp

While reading the newspaper this morning, local Sharon Lovis let her eyes wander. Doing so, they fell upon an unopened letter resting motionlessly beneath her living-room lamp. Sharon Lovis could not and can not remember receiving this letter, and she currently refuses to open letter, or to tell Waffle Town news chief what letter contains. This mystery will haunt Waffle Town for the rest of our days.