31 January 2017

There Will Be No Forgiveness

The mayor's office would like to remind everyone that there will be no forgiveness for any who miss Sheriff Ramage's talk at Town Hall tonight. Topics will include the recreational use of aspirin and parking meter abuse. Refreshments to be provided by Grover's Morsels.

29 January 2017

What's Your Week?

  • My friend, can Waffle Town tempt you with this offer?
  • Bridger reports were not turned in on time. Sorry, Watson, Crumbler, & Watson clerical staff: you're fired.
  • Frank & the kids, they're back from vacation.
  • Chandler Harkle caught how many fishes? Oh My!
  • Foul language is never to be used in
  • Waffle Town
  • Cruncher Hill
  • Burough Acres

  • Danielle's Dolphins out of business: dolphin stocks too low.
  • What's Your Week?
  • Hibbert Gumpton bludgeoned how many mules? Well done!
  • What's Your Week?
  •  Down at the hole, the kids had fun!
  •  

27 January 2017

Is There Ringing In Your Ears

Glaav walked home in the fog today, not sure where he was, but certain he was on the right track, because the cracks in the sidewalk looooked familiar. He was sure he knew the pattern. His house might have shifted slightly to the west, but our reporters were unable to verify that. Now, on to the next news, it was a good day for the town clerk, whose name we've forgotten.

25 January 2017

A Message from the Head Exterminator

"In spite of our best efforts to destroy them, it appears that the bugs remain, and perhaps even thrive, in Waffle Town. Though they travel underfoot, and hide in every corner, please take comfort in knowing that they can never control us.

God bless you all."


Editor's note: According to a recently-released study by researchers at the Institute, the bugs could someday control us.

18 January 2017

Why?

Here in Waffle Town, we know why. We can even tell you why. All you need to do is come a little closer. Don't be afraid. Just move closer, steadily, and when you see the cave, go into the cave.

10 January 2017

Uh Oh! Broadcast Canceled!

Tonight's scheduled broadcast of the opening chapter of A Biscuit for Sergeant Monday has been canceled because Ms. Pinefeather has come down with a sore throat. Some speculate, though, that Ms. Pinefeather simply doesn't exist.

03 January 2017

The Dawn of a New Age for Waffle Town

Editor's note: Due to a misunderstanding, an article entitled "The Dawn of a New Age for Waffle Town" was allowed to be published directly by its author, bypassing our normal editorial standards. Though it was removed swiftly, some readers may have been able to access the article, and to them, the entire editorial staff extends its sincerest apologies. Rest assured: no changes are coming or will ever come to Waffle Town. 

Thank you for your continued readership.