29 May 2016

Potential New Communication Scheme Excites, Enthralls

Norma Cloonts, inventor of spray-on eggs, will unveil her latest work at Town Hall tonight, as part of the ongoing "Waffle Town: Our Future and Yours" series of lectures on personal and societal betterment. Dubbed the "Alfingbet", Ms. Cloonts' new "information transmission system" replaces our alphabet's least popular letters with helical symbols pleasing to the eye, and introduces a series of "quick and sharp vocalizations" as shorthand for over a hundred commonly-used phrases.

Ms. Cloonts' system has already been adopted wholesale by the town council of Moosehead Hollow; will Waffle Town, she recently asked, be "forward-thinking" enough to follow?

26 May 2016

Interesting Incident on Route 5

Early this morning, a police officer patrolling Route 5 pulled over an unmarked white truck for exceeding the speed limit. The driver, who could not produce identification, fled into the surrounding woods at the first opportunity and is presumed dead.

Upon inspection, the abandoned truck was found to be carrying several hundred loaves of bread, which, according to the officer on the scene, "tasted good", and have since been delivered to the supermarket for sale to the public.

23 May 2016

Hello and Good Morning; Wake Up, for It is a New Day

A new week dawns on Waffle Town, and it is your responsibility as a citizen to arise and greet it. Will you fulfill this sacred duty? If you are having difficulty, visit one of the many new "brightness booths" installed around town. 

If you are feeling out of sorts, you can be brought back into the light. If you are feeling incorrect, you can be corrected. If you are feeling like you don't belong in Waffle Town, you can be corrected.

19 May 2016

Sorry About Your Empty Mailbox

Postermaster Brevits wishes to apologize for the lack of deliveries today. It was Gary's turn to deliver the mail, but he overslept.

16 May 2016

Coming Up This Week in Waffle Town

  • Use your nouns! It's Noun Week, and that's county-wide.
  • Schoolchildren can look forward to a bit of entertainment during lunch, courtesy of local favorite Crackers the Silly Clown.
  • The trees are beginning to bloom, and you will be reminded of the impermanence of all things.
  • Going for a drive? Starting this Wednesday, Prescott Road will once again be open to motor traffic.
  • Folks who like to fish are in luck this week, as local entomologists have announced the discovery of a "massive worm surplus".

13 May 2016

Farming Equipment for Sale, It's a Bargain

It's a bargain: farming equipment for sale, all of it used, down at Erdolac Farm.

2 tractors (1 unclean)
1 post-hole digger
1 drill auger, many years old
1 wheelbarrow, red
1 wheelbarrow, unpainted

And that's it unless Zeb finds something else in the shed, and also the shed is for sale. Bring handmade goods for bartering if you haven't got money.

09 May 2016

A Report from Deathless Crocodile, in the Field

Were your eyes not trapped inside your head they could be grabbed and massaged

05 May 2016

Slimy Pond De-mucked in Dog Drama

Dredging began at Vlimy Pond, locally and derisively known as Slimy Pond, this morning as police continued their search for the mayor's missing poodle. It is speculated that the same pungent odor and surly wildlife that keep residents away from the pond might have drawn the wayward pooch to a watery grave.

02 May 2016

Did You Know?

No living astronaut hails from Waffle Town.